7 Mental Health Tips for Black Parents and Families
When caring for your children and household are top priorities, making time for yourself can be challenging. As parents, the desire for our children to live a happy and abundant life is often stronger than our willpower to adequately care for ourselves. We have to remember that self-care is not selfish; it's necessary. You can maintain a healthy relationship with your family and significant other while balancing your personal life and doing what you love. Parents, caretakers, families, and children can win and reclaim their peace of mind using these seven mental health tips. As a wife and mother of three, over the years, I've discovered that being mindful of mental triggers and barriers can help us to navigate them better and process our emotions. These tips may be as valuable a tool for your family as it has been for ours.
Take care of yourself first
Yes, that's right! It all starts with YOU! If we focus on being the change we wish to see little by little in our lives, it is only natural that our communities, and in turn, the world, would have to be a better place. Remember, it is impossible to pour from an empty cup.
Listen to your children
Remember how it felt to be in their tiny shoes. Although they're exploring the world and learning about life, they are bite-sized individuals many of my elders believe "may have been here before." We want to ensure that our children know they have a voice and that it is a powerful tool. Allow them to have some input on what to eat for dinner or what to wear for the day. Help highlight and celebrate their individuality, and no matter how silly it may be, make sure that whatever they're talking about is deemed as "important" as often as possible. They'll only be little for so long; before we know it, we may beg them to open up to us in their teenage years. When they ask questions, talk to them thoroughly and with a clear and concise explanation. They deserve to know the truth and to hear it first from you.
Allow yourself and your children to digest black trauma in small doses
It's imperative to be mindful of the powerful imagery attached to these traumas. Images and words can be emotionally taxing. Choose mindfulness regarding the types of shows, movies, and songs we consume daily.
Be candid and open with your family
Though it would be nice to know what the people you love think and how they're feeling, no one in the world has said superpower. It is as equally essential to be heard as it is to listen, but how can one be heard if they do not SPEAK? Be as open and honest with your family about your emotional well-being as possible. If you don't tell them that you are exhausted, tired, or overwhelmed, how can they guess? Plan family meetings when necessary to give and receive mental health updates on yourself and others in your home.
Take it one day at a time
Remember that your best is ALWAYS GOOD ENOUGH! Give yourself grace every day. When you're anxious or feeling depressed, slow down. Take a mental and physical break from all your tasks. Sometimes our minds can get the best of us, and we think too far into the future. Other times we stay hyper-focused on the past. Know that the best way to live is to focus on what's happening now, right in front of you. Tackling things in bite sizes will help reduce the pressure of life's load. Focus on THE NOW, and take things for what they are, not as they "should or used to be."
Media breaks are necessary
Too much print, broadcast, and social media can lead to information overload, causing one to feel drained and mentally exhausted by everything happening in the world. Remember the FOMO syndrome or fear of missing out, which develops when constantly watching others from behind the looking glass of the internet and TV screen. Understand that you are somebody and that life is what you make it. Many people live beautiful lives, while others have a curated perception of their life on social media. You never know what others are going through. Never compare yourself to others because that adds more unnecessary stress. Relieve negativity by taking frequent media breaks when you feel overwhelmed or if the spirit of jealousy has consumed you.
Seek and stay engaged with your village
In my opinion, the old African proverb that affirms "it takes a village to raise a child" isn't only referring to the upbringing and well-being of the children but support and stability for the parents and family as a whole. In every situation, it's helpful to know that we are not alone. Though we are all battling life in our respective corners, we are inevitably in this together. Connect with people who may motivate you and keep you inspired. Provide your children with community outlets to make them feel valid and safe and enjoy their youth.