Self-worth— Where Art Thou?

It took me years to finally know my worth. When I was young, I valued other people’s opinions more than I did my own. Looking back, it’s crazy how I was afraid to stand firmly behind my truths. I once believed that standing out too much was grounds for being ridiculed.

I’m different now. My beliefs have changed. At last, I’m able to accept myself for who I am and it doesn’t matter what others think. Gaining the strength to overcome self-doubt took a lot of courage.

Over time, I’ve gained enough wisdom to understand how I’m perfect just the way I am. I’m confident in articulating how I define myself instead of allowing the world to define me. I know how to set boundaries and I’m not afraid to walk away from people or situations that aren’t satisfying to my soul.

The older I get, the more I’m able to tap into my core values and appreciate myself wholeheartedly. Even though I know my worth, I’m still working to keep my appreciation for it. I’m still on a constant journey to finding inner peace.

Tiffiany Renee Langston, a motivational speaker, has also overcome personal insecurities that diminished her self-worth. She is in the business of encouraging the millennial woman to cultivate a God-honoring life through healing and growth. Through personal experience, Tiffiany is able to teach others how to know their worth. Below, you will find my interview with Tiffiany. It is geared to help you identify your self-worth. I hope her responses liberate your mind and soul.

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.

Maya Angelou
  1. What are the factors that determine our self-worth? How we feel, think, and act toward ourselves is largely determined by how we were conditioned by society, how we were raised, and our experiences. It’s best to start early but not being raised to value yourself wholeheartedly doesn’t mean you can’t start now, right where you are.
  1. Why is it important to have self-worth? Because without it you are more likely to fall into a space of being motivated and driven by your insecurities. Doing things outside of your truest self, exhibiting false confidence to prove your worth, and chasing approval from others.
  1. Can a negative self-image place limitations on your life? Absolutely. Blessings that are intended for your unique gifts and talents to grow and prosper you get blocked. Fear, doubt, depression, anxiety, and negative self-talk may fly under the radar for a while but it becomes difficult and overwhelming to suppress the chaos within.
  1. How can someone increase their self-worth? Start with identifying yourself from within and who you belong to. You are created in the image of God. That truth must be accepted first. Then begin taking steps to grow in understanding of who you are. Define what you like about yourself, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what makes you different, and trust God for who he is and for who he says you are.
  1. If you don’t have a lot of self-worth, does that mean you don’t love yourself? Love is a verb, an action. You can’t love yourself and then not have self-worth. We do so much damage to ourselves waiting on others to applaud us, confirm us, and deem us worthy. When you truly love yourself, the self-worth begins to build and you recognize your value, so you can show up and be proud of yourself. We all crave to be loved, accepted, and approved, that’s normal. We don’t always get that even when we should (as dependents in childhood) and then in adulthood, we think and believe we “need” others or something outside of us to be whole. This is codependency. You are a living being of immeasurable worth. Learn to love and respect yourself first and then you open yourself up to loving others properly.
  1. How do we set the foundation for a positive self-image if our world is crumbling? We have to build on the sturdy foundation of that which does not fade. Is it easy? Nope. Is it possible? Yes. What we do, who we’re with, what we look like, what we have, where we are and our abilities do not determine our worth. We have to stop depending on others and our circumstances to define and confirm our identity.
  1. No one likes to be fake. Can you give advice on how you personally maintain high levels of self-worth without feeling strained or forced? I honor where I am on the journey. It’s about progress, not perfection and I stay focused on pleasing God and being obedient to his will for my life. I know if I am in pursuit of what God is speaking to me, then I have no reason to be strained or feel forced. The love of Christ is gentle, patient, compassionate. When feelings of straining or feeling that something is being forced arises, I know that is not from God and I am being deceived.
  1. Why do people link self-worth to things, people, and accomplishments? What’s the solution to this common issue? Too often we are not taught and given opportunities to understand and accept our self-worth. We are applauded early on for “doing” rather than simply being. The solution is to become aware that you are full, complete, and deserving of love and respect, no matter what you have, what you do, or who you’re with. We must acknowledge that we veer into a danger zone when we turn away from questioning and identifying what we feel. Reflection is needed throughout our journey of becoming and we have to stop running from what needs to be confronted for proper healing.
  1. Can you please share with us your story and why you’re helping people identify with their self-worth? I was sexually abused for the majority of my adolescents and I was never encouraged that I was valuable simply for being me. I carried shame and guilt and lived from a victim mindset for a long time. I was dealt with uniquely by God and from that moment I began seeking the truth. I was so done with pretending and not having the slightest clue who I really was. As the fig leaves began to fall and I was uncovered, I began gaining clarity, seeing how I was deceived and I was the one believing I was unworthy of love and respect. It made me sad and I know God was saddened to see his daughter living out the lie that she was less than because of past trauma. I had always placed the determination of my worth in the hands of others. God revealed his adoration for me and healed me to accept that I did not need to live another day as I had been for so many years. I don’t want anyone to take away from another moment in their life because they don’t know or believe that they are special. That is why I help people identify with their self-worth. It is time to show up and live like you are loved because you are! Address where you have not respected and treated yourself as enough; handing over your worth for others to affirm and confidently embrace that you have immeasurable worth.

There is a lot of gem dropping throughout this article. What is your favorite takeaway?

Also, don’t forget to follow Tiffiany Renee Langston on Instagram for more inspirational quotes and videos.

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