Do I Really Have To Do This? My Most Difficult Task

The most difficult tasks to complete are the ones that are the most necessary. I won’t disclose a lot, but I have been dealing with a difficult person for some time. I feel like I am at my limit with this individual. As horrible as it sounds, I am disgusted when I see him. And at this point, I am ready to cut ties with him.

As someone who gets along with everyone, I can only recall feeling this way about one other individual in my lifetime. Associating with someone who is conniving and manipulative is draining. I will not allow him to keep causing a negative response in me. I struggle to understand how someone can be that way. It is senseless to me.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with a confidante about my situation with this individual. I listed all of the things that irk me about him. I explained how he makes me feel each time I have to interact with or even see him. I described the resentment he has caused. I talked about my many attempts to reason with him.

Without any more hesitation, my confidante looked me in the eye and asked me a question that created an internal reaction. She asked me if I prayed for him. I’m sure she could tell by my blank stare that she already knew the answer to her question.

My eyebrows immediately heightened. Excuse me? I asked. My thoughts danced around inside of my head. I couldn’t believe she asked me if I prayed for the person who is causing me so much stress.

She told me I needed to pray for his wellbeing and to ask God to protect him.

Hold on. What?

I eyed her in shock, then it hit me. At that moment, I called myself out. I know better. I know that hurt people hurt people. I know that troubled people wreak havoc into the lives of others. How does the cliché go? Misery loves company.

For a few seconds, I felt a bit of compassion. I won’t lie. The feeling did not last long at all. No happy person behaves the way that he does. He has to be unhappy. He may be miserable.

I have been taking his actions personally when, in reality, they probably have nothing to do with me. No, I am not saying that I will allow him to disrespect or get over on me, but I will look at things from a different perspective. This situation could be a test for me.

I’m far from perfect.

Before I went to sleep that night, I attempted to include him in my prayer. I wanted to pray for his safety. I wanted to ask God to cover him and to fill any void that is in life. I wanted to ask God to reveal himself into his life, but I couldn’t. I literally couldn’t.

I found myself praying through tears and asking God to help me to pray for this man and actually mean it. I finally completed my prayer. I can admit that it wasn’t as genuine as it should have been, but it was a start. I haven’t prayed for him again since, but I plan to.

I realized that this is, indeed, a test for me. God is showing me where I’m weak. He’s revealing the areas that I need to grow. I need to learn how to pray for my enemies, for real. I need to stop taking someone else’s negative behavior personally. And last but certainly not least, I need to master how to avoid allowing another individual’s actions to create an energy shift in myself.

I hope to be able to pray for this person as I pray for my best friend. It may happen tomorrow, or it may happen a few weeks from now. I truly believe that once I am successful at it, the issue that seems so large for me will be resolved.

I hope I will be able to share with others how something so negative turned out to be beautiful. 

Until next time, continue to push yourself to do those uncomfortable things that are necessary for your positive growth.

Let’s talk. What is something that has forced you to grow?

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