Relationships should bring out the best in you. The person you choose to spend your time with and open up your life to should be someone you can trust, someone with similar interests and someone you can grow with spiritually.
Relationships can come with a lot of baggage, but the key is knowing what you can deal with and what you simply cannot. Being upfront about what you want and will or will not accept, as well as being mature and open enough to discuss the things you’re not used to, is a good start for success in dating.
I will be married for 3 years come December 22. When my husband and I started dating, I had a long list of things I wanted and didn’t want, but my list was basically thrown out the window because my husband was simply none of those things and I had to be open to learning who he was as a man and loving him for him and not a fantasy I created in my head of who he should be. He’s my best friend and I wouldn’t trade being with him for anything in the world! However, I still had a few deal breakers that if he exhibited any signs of, then we wouldn’t have made it this far.
- Lack of trust, desire for long-term commitment, communication, care, or love
- Lies, sneakiness, deceit, overall dishonesty
- Signs of domestic violence, rape, being an alcoholic, a drug addict, and having poor hygiene
- Being a womanizer or being in denial about his sexual orientation
- Being closed-minded to learning new things or ideas about the world, life, our existence, etc. or being overly religious (too heavenly-minded and no earthly good)
These are all of my opinions and as India Arie says, “Ain’t nothing I’m saying law.” These are areas I cannot allow myself to compromise on because they surround my well-being and my future.
I want to hear from y’all. What are some of your deal breakers in relationships?